Hi it has been awhile since I wrote a blog. Hmmm... Technically that would be type a blog, but whatever. So, I am doing good and I am in a Happy place today. My husband and I are doing so much better and we are both putting forth a lot of effort. Not that we don't have our share of issues, but we are able to move on and get passed the petty things.
I have enjoyed my girls immensely as they live their little lives. Benni is not so little anymore, but she will always be my little girl. She loves Theater and just did a play, " The Legend of Sleepy Hollow". She was an extra, but she was so comfortable and had great timing. She owned it and we are so very proud of her. Tonight she is going to be taking a free theater class to see if it is something she would like to do outside of school, as well. I can already tell you she will want to just have to find the right school for her.
Kira Ann is in gymnastics and she is totally awesome. She can almost do the splits, she does front hand springs, round offs, Cartwheels, hand stands, back bends, and the list goes on. So very proud of her also. She shines in that class and it just comes so natural for her.
This blog is mainly just a catch up with what had been going on no big issues today. BUT, MAKE SURE YOU GET OUT AND VOTE!! So, very important regardless who you are voting for it is our right as Americans and we should all take part. If not our country is just going to keep going Doooooooooooowwwwn!
More important matters in the next blog.
Til the next!~
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Beautiful Day!
It is picture perfect outside. I love days like this because no matter what the day brings I just feel good seeing the sun shine, the birds sing, and the kids playing. Today is the first day of my husband and I praying together. We have prayed together on one or two other occassions, but we are going to start praying everyday together.
I am excited because I have always wanted to be able to pray with my husband. It is just hard to get to a place where you both feel comfortable. It seems crazy but it is true, so I am just really looking forward to it. He is on nights the rest of this week and so we are going to pray together before he leaves for work and then when he works days again we'll have to do it early in the morning or at night. Thank You God for getting us to this point..
Til the next~
I am excited because I have always wanted to be able to pray with my husband. It is just hard to get to a place where you both feel comfortable. It seems crazy but it is true, so I am just really looking forward to it. He is on nights the rest of this week and so we are going to pray together before he leaves for work and then when he works days again we'll have to do it early in the morning or at night. Thank You God for getting us to this point..
Til the next~
A Friendship for a Lie....
It was so pretty outside today. I love going to the park with my youngest daughter and days like today are perfect for going to the park. Before I go though I am going to blog about something that is pretty peculiar to me. I used to be friends with someone who I actually met when I was 13 years old. This person and I lost track and after many years we hooked back up. I had issues I was dealing with yet everything was about them. I would attempt to discuss me or what was happening but it just always got buried under their problems. I began not answering my phone when their number came up because I knew how the conversation would go. It would go something like this: I am, I need, I can't, Me, Me, Me, and more ME! Friendship is suppose to be a two way street.
Sometimes when I did answer they would ask for my thoughts on something or to tell them what they should do about something. So, I would give my thoughts and of course they NEVER listened I wondered why they even asked. :)
This person was very insecure and ALWAYS needed my reassurance. It can be pretty frustating when the only time they call is to talk and talk about their problems. So, anyway the last time I spoke to them they asked me to lie about something for them. I was told "IF" I truly was a friend I would do this. I really considered it but it would have made me look stupid. And for what I didn't do anything wrong. So anyway I spoke to my husband and he told me no I shouldn't get involved so I chose not to. This "friend" went from saying I will respect whatever you decide to do to the extreme opposite of I hate you, you messed up my life because you didn't cover for me, blah, blah, blah...
The thing that probably helped me to make the decision NOT to lie for them was they actually tried to buy my lie with pills. That is really sad a person who is suppose to be a true friend is that desperate that they are willing to contribute to my life's distruction. That made me mad for them to think I would actually allow myself to look stupid just to get medicine. They were WRONG I may have been going through a lot but that didn't mean I was going to sell myself out for them. Hello I do my have dignity, and I did have self respect.
I didn't do it and they called my house and cussed at me on my answering machine where my daughter could hear. My daughter considered them family and that was just low. Called me a whore and a drug addict and more unsavory names. But it only showed their instability and their desperation.
This person I would never be able to trust again. They changed everything and the sad part was it was all over me not wanting to lie for them. I mean it was stupid and I couldn't believe the levels this person would go to. I knew eventually the things they did would come to light because they could only cover the lies for so long. And it did catch up to them and the one thing they gave up our friendship for is gone. But that's neither here nor there.
I really am not sure what made me think of this person but something did so I thought I'd just blog it and then let it go.
Til the next~
Sometimes when I did answer they would ask for my thoughts on something or to tell them what they should do about something. So, I would give my thoughts and of course they NEVER listened I wondered why they even asked. :)
This person was very insecure and ALWAYS needed my reassurance. It can be pretty frustating when the only time they call is to talk and talk about their problems. So, anyway the last time I spoke to them they asked me to lie about something for them. I was told "IF" I truly was a friend I would do this. I really considered it but it would have made me look stupid. And for what I didn't do anything wrong. So anyway I spoke to my husband and he told me no I shouldn't get involved so I chose not to. This "friend" went from saying I will respect whatever you decide to do to the extreme opposite of I hate you, you messed up my life because you didn't cover for me, blah, blah, blah...
The thing that probably helped me to make the decision NOT to lie for them was they actually tried to buy my lie with pills. That is really sad a person who is suppose to be a true friend is that desperate that they are willing to contribute to my life's distruction. That made me mad for them to think I would actually allow myself to look stupid just to get medicine. They were WRONG I may have been going through a lot but that didn't mean I was going to sell myself out for them. Hello I do my have dignity, and I did have self respect.
I didn't do it and they called my house and cussed at me on my answering machine where my daughter could hear. My daughter considered them family and that was just low. Called me a whore and a drug addict and more unsavory names. But it only showed their instability and their desperation.
This person I would never be able to trust again. They changed everything and the sad part was it was all over me not wanting to lie for them. I mean it was stupid and I couldn't believe the levels this person would go to. I knew eventually the things they did would come to light because they could only cover the lies for so long. And it did catch up to them and the one thing they gave up our friendship for is gone. But that's neither here nor there.
I really am not sure what made me think of this person but something did so I thought I'd just blog it and then let it go.
Til the next~
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
October 6, 1990 my life changed.
It all began on Saturday October 6, 1990. I was 18 and in a horrible car accident with my dad. A drunk driver hit our car we were in. Long story short I had many injuries and I got addicted to pain meds. I am sorry I have told the long version for right at 20 years now.
The important thing to me now is that I have my life back. It was a long windy journey to get here but I made it, Praise God!!
I am not sure why it took so long or why my brain wasn't able to stop the dangerous way it thought. I was in a warped way of thinking for a long time. Actually I hit "Rock Bottom" many times and it never seemed to be the bottom people talk about. After each low it would always begin again and again. I had an excuse because I had injuries marked by scars and it was pretty easy to legally get the meds. It isn't like I was lying or anything.
For me there wasn't one particular experience or day that changed things. I just stopped I would like to tell people a moment in time or something but I can't there just isn't one. The Grace of God is my only answer.
I have 2 Beautiful Girls who have helped me find my way back into the Normal everyday way of LIFE. I am so much happier and more full of joy now than I ever have been. I always feel good, I am a morning person now, I am able to do things last minute. Before I had to make sure I had what I needed in order to not feel sick so I could do things. Now all I need is me and it is so much less stressful. Someone told me once that if I could make it addicted to medicine I would be able to make it through anything. I used to think that was stupid but now I understand it. It makes since now that I am not having to continuelly (sp) plan and make sure I have enough medication and all the other things. And then when I ran out I was sick and in pain and it was miserable. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.
Ok that's some of my story of where I was and where I am not now. Now I am in a Happy place and I am able to be a much better wife, mother, daughter, and friend.
Til the next~
The important thing to me now is that I have my life back. It was a long windy journey to get here but I made it, Praise God!!
I am not sure why it took so long or why my brain wasn't able to stop the dangerous way it thought. I was in a warped way of thinking for a long time. Actually I hit "Rock Bottom" many times and it never seemed to be the bottom people talk about. After each low it would always begin again and again. I had an excuse because I had injuries marked by scars and it was pretty easy to legally get the meds. It isn't like I was lying or anything.
For me there wasn't one particular experience or day that changed things. I just stopped I would like to tell people a moment in time or something but I can't there just isn't one. The Grace of God is my only answer.
I have 2 Beautiful Girls who have helped me find my way back into the Normal everyday way of LIFE. I am so much happier and more full of joy now than I ever have been. I always feel good, I am a morning person now, I am able to do things last minute. Before I had to make sure I had what I needed in order to not feel sick so I could do things. Now all I need is me and it is so much less stressful. Someone told me once that if I could make it addicted to medicine I would be able to make it through anything. I used to think that was stupid but now I understand it. It makes since now that I am not having to continuelly (sp) plan and make sure I have enough medication and all the other things. And then when I ran out I was sick and in pain and it was miserable. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.
Ok that's some of my story of where I was and where I am not now. Now I am in a Happy place and I am able to be a much better wife, mother, daughter, and friend.
Til the next~
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